She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize