I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
