I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
These tits shall not be calmed
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
