i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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