After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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