Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
