He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
