I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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