i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
