So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We left the knife in your bed.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
