...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
