and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
