I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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