And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
