i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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