You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
