We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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