i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize