Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Actions speak louder than pants.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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