Screwed.edu
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
