Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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