I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
