I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
