Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
