I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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