Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
