He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
