spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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