Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
only you would photoshop your dick
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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