You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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