Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
