He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
