Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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