I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
