I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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