This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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