there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
