I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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