Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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