Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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