My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
