new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
