I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
