these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize