Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
