Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
