So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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