remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
