nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
that may or may not have been my penis.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
