Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?

(856): View more from New Jersey

yea

(1-856): View more from New Jersey

turns out that you did...and i just found it.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid

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(847): View more from Illinois

I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?

(408): View more from California

JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.

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(941): View more from Florida

i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.

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