i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
