I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
