im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
