so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
