i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
