i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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