Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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